In the realm of modern relationships, there’s a growing awareness of the diverse paths love can take. One concept that’s been garnering attention is the relationship escalator – the traditional progression of romantic relationships. But what if there’s more than one way to ascend in love?
This article delves into the intriguing concept of the relationship escalator, offering a fresh perspective on what it means to connect, commit, and cultivate love. It’s about challenging norms, questioning expectations, and realizing that love’s journey isn’t always a straight climb up.
Relationship Escalator
The relationship escalator concept, explored previously, warrants more in-depth examination. Here, we delve into its origins and defining factors, challenging traditional notions of love’s progression.
The Origins of the Relationship Escalator
Tracing the relationship escalator back, it’s a result of societal norms and expectations. Traditionally, relationships have followed a set path – meet someone, date, commit, marry, buy a house, have children, and grow old together. This concept, ingrained by society and media, is referred to as the relationship escalator — a term coined in the early 2010s by psychologist and writer Amy Gahran.
What Defines a Relationship Escalator?
Fundamentally, the relationship escalator is defined by its predictability, and its linear progression in stages. It’s characterized by monogamy, living together, sharing finances and possessions, marriage, and having children. Each stage escalates the commitment and intertwines the lives of the partners more deeply. Non-conformance to this trajectory is often considered deviation, sparking debates about the validity of alternative relationship formats.
The Steps of the Relationship Escalator
Within the relationship escalator paradigm, each sequential step signifies a deepening connection and shared amalgam of life, with dating and relationship progression marking the start, followed by commitments and marriage.
Dating and Relationship Progression
The initial phase, dating and relationship progression, involves fostering communication, forging affectionate bonds, and building trust. Generally, couples carry shared experiences, common interests, and emotional intimacy, cementing the building blocks of their relationship. For instance, a pair bonded over a shared love for horror movies might find their connection deepening over screenings and subsequent discussions, thus strengthening the underpinnings of their partnership.
Long-Term Commitments and Marriage
The next phases, long-term commitments and marriage, signify a more profound level of bonding, unity, and collective goals. Here, the relationship moves beyond shared experiences and ventures into shared lives, such as moving in together, purchasing a home, or conceiving children. A couple may approach this stage after years of dating, signifying their willingness to bond in more permanent, contractual ways, typical of long-term commitments or marriage.
Critiques of the Relationship Escalator Model
The Relationship Escalator Model, though prevalent, encounters criticism from various quarters. Two key concerns revolve around societal pressure for conformity and compromised individual autonomy.
The Pressure of Conformity
Critics often highlight the undue societal pressure the model engenders. This conventional framework creates a set path, casting other forms of love and commitment into shadows. For example, those pursuing friendships with romantic elements, polyamorous relationships, or simply self-love, might face stigma or misunderstanding. Thus, the escalator model sometimes promotes homogeneity, discouraging unconventional or non-linear journeys despite their meaningfulness or depth.
Escalator Relationships and Individual Autonomy
The Relationship Escalator Model also poses potential threats to individual autonomy. It encourages you to intertwine your life with someone else’s, necessitating mutual decision-making. Critics argue that this “coupling” often marginalizes personal independence and reduces self-identity. It might also alter one’s personal growth trajectory, or disrupt life focus, as relationship decisions influence aspects such as living conditions, career choices, or social attitudes. Hence, this escalator model could significantly affect personal autonomy, shaping it around relationship timelines and milestones.
Ingrained in Society
The relationship escalator’s traditional model, while deeply ingrained in society, isn’t the only path to love. It’s essential to realize that love’s journey can take diverse routes, and the escalator model isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. There’s a growing acceptance of non-escalator relationships, which offer an alternative way to explore romantic connections beyond societal norms. These relationships allow for personal freedom, growth, and the recognition of the value of platonic and non-romantic relationships.